I was born in Lakeside, California in 1970. When I was 8 months old I had my first broken bone. The lid of a cedar chest slammed close on my middle finger at a department store. My two brothers and my sister had quite a bit of fun with their baby brother and his little finger brace. They still make jokes about me being the baby that was flipping everybody the bird.
My father had a good career so my family was able to go on nice vacations each summer. Since my birthday is in the middle of summer, I never knew where I would be on my birthday. One year my family celebrated my birthday at a food stand located at the bottom of Carlsbad Caverns. I remember that my sister gave me a big rubber bat from the gift store. That was a fun time.
I attended Riverview Elementary School and Lakeside Middle School. While a 5th grader at Riverview I became a crossing guard. When I was in the seventh grade I had my left thumb crushed in a hydraulic log splitter. That was more than a little painful.
I lost my wallet when I was riding my bike home from school one day. It had my school ID in it so the person that found it returned it to the school. I am still using that wallet! Since that time I have always carried my wallet in a front pocket. I have only lost it that one time.
Once, I found a California King Snake on the way home from school. I captured it using a forked stick and took it home. It grew to be well over 6 feet in length. Occasionally it would scare the life out of my father. He liked having it around though since they eat rattle snakes and gophers.
During this time in life I decided to attract the ladies by becoming overweight and exceedingly nerdy. It worked to. They would go out of their way to walk by me and laugh. I drove this big ugly brown car, but it had a 351 Cleveland engine, so I did not care what it looked like. It could lay rubber for miles.
When gasoline got up to 90 cents a gallon I sold my big car and bought a four cylinder. The price of gasoline was killing me.
To add to my goofy appearance I grew a bright red mustache and beard. I graduated with the nickname of the red tennis ball. I had never shaved at this point in my life. The first time I shaved was trying to get rid of that ridiculous mess on my face. There was some blood shed. It is probably easier to learn to shave before having a beard.
During my senior year I started working for a company that listed itself as a sanatorium in the phonebook. When I was a new employee my coworkers locked me in one of the wards and yelled to the residents, "Hey look, your mom is here!" I spent the next fifteen minutes trying not to get cornered and hugged by masses of confused patience calling me momma.
One night after graduation I went to the drive-in movie theater and watched Full Metal Jacket. Two weeks later I was in boot camp. My folks were a little irritated with me over that one.
After the Marine Corps I moved to Oregon to attend Eastern Oregon University. That was my second attempt at college. I have also attended
Grossmont Community College, University of Maryland University College, University of Texas, Walla Walla University, and Blue Mountain Community College.
One day I think it would be really neat to actually graduate.
I seem to collect licenses. I have been licensed to drive normal vehicles, forklifts, boats, tanks, tractor trailers, crane hoists, single engine land airplanes, and lawnmowers and weed eaters. Believe it or not, you actually have to be licensed to operate lawn care equipment in the military.
I also seem to collect work experience. I have been a Marine, an Army soldier, a reserve police officer, a correctional Sheriff's deputy, a state correctional officer, a long haul truck driver, a sawmill worker, and a retail associate. That is not everything of course, but it gets the idea across.
My current hobbies are flight simulation using Microsoft Flight Simulator X, learning piano, and designing spreadsheets in Excel. Apparently, I am still a bit on the nerdy side but at least the beard is gone!